Hallo Gorgeous Green Season alumni,
It is actually always the week of self, but if you’re not aware, there’s something called The Grand Cross happening in the skies above us this week – bringing similar energy to the life changes experienced in October 2007. It has the potential to turn chaotic energies into a personal healing revolution, giving many of us some major (and possibly uncomfortable) pushes in the right direction. This means any blocks or limiting beliefs that prevent us from getting there may show up in a number of ways this week to be healed.
What that can mean practically – and why I’ve reached out to all my clients this week, is that there’s some super strong feelings around Self-worth, Self-love and Self-acceptance coming up. While it can feel like life is messing with you – it’s actually just another chance to heal some of your stuff. So I thought I’d share some tools if you’re feeling challenged, and some ways to approach it.
Imagine you own a car that sustained some damage to its on-board computer system years ago. You cannot buy a new car, so you’ve learnt to work around its quirks. It’s fine for the basic A to B journeys and going places it knows…. but it just won’t perform in certain conditions. You eventually came to realise it means you can’t get to all the places you’d like to go – so despite your frustration, ultimately you just stopped trying to drive there. Over the years the annoyance at seeing other cars driving to those places you’re determined to get to has kept building, but you just haven’t been able to locate where the damage is – so you don’t know where to begin the repairs.
In some cases shame may have caused you to deny there were any problems, or you’ve felt that you were given an inferior model compared to other cars. Often, you’ve felt like everyone else got an instruction booklet that you didn’t.
Then in recent months, the car’s entire on-board computer system has started fritzing and sending you all sorts of warning lights. Rather than being bad news – this actually gives you the opportunity to overhaul it in a way you’ve not had access to before. In the overhaul, you will now clearly see the damage and toxic build-up in the on-board system … giving you have the chance to release it and reboot. After all, if the on-board system is rewired in a whole new way – the car is likely to perform differently.
So if you’re the car and your on-board computer system is fritzing… what does that mean?
The first thing that might be coming up is a lot of random memories from childhood, former romances and relationships. You may be struggling to work out why after all this time you’re thinking about them. Possibly you’re having a general feeling of anxiety …which is annoying because you’ve been feeling pretty good recently and it’s not nice to be back in that space after feeling the expansion of being less anxious.
It may be that you’re feeling down or frustrated with certain aspects of your life, and you’ve lost some of the hopeful momentum you were feeling earlier in the year. You look at others progress and wonder why you have not reached the same levels of success. Or you look at your timeline and feel you’re falling short of the goals you had assigned yourself by certain ages and situations.
It might be that you feel like you’ve done everything right, but nothing has turned out the way you wanted. Or that no matter what happens, you feel you are unlucky and unworthy compared to others.
Allow those feelings of anxiety, frustration and sadness …get curious with them. Offer them a seat at your mental boardroom table and have a chat. Ask them why they’re there. Because it’s not just to make you feel bad. They are there to point you towards something that needs your attention. And be mindful that you’re not going backwards, you’re doing so well that more things are coming forward for you to recognise and heal. Life learning is ongoing – you don’t graduate like school or university, life will always keep shifting – it’s so much easier if you get used to shifting with it. So go into those memories and feelings, write down any common threads that are come up. Don’t get caught up in the emotions of the experience. Just ask their purpose.
Let. It. Go. Stop going round and round in your head chasing an argument that happened years ago. Choose to accept it is, what it is. Don’t ignore it. But understand that your anger isn’t about them. It’s about you making peace with it for your own happiness. Ultimately it’s just some stuff that needs sorting.
Be kind. Be compassionate. With yourself and those people in the memories stirred up. I was adamant I had no need to apologise to someone when they popped into my head earlier this week. Then after a day or so of being adamant, it hit me – why would I not want to apologise to someone if I had the power to heal a hurt? It doesn’t have to negate my experience by admitting that it was hurtful for another. As soon as I allowed that thought to come through – the feelings of betrayal I had been carrying about someone else doing me wrong, disappeared also. I didn’t need to find the person to apologise – I don’t even know if they know or perceive it as hurtful, ultimately it was two sides of the same coin within me needing release. Choosing love and compassion over ‘being right’ gives you more freedom than you can imagine.
Take help back with you
If a particularly sad or negative memory comes up and you recall feeling very lost and alone at that time… visit that space as who you are now. Take any information or guides you think will be useful, and visualise helping You as you were back then. Give yourself a hug and tell yourself you’re not alone. Tell yourself the positive things you have in your life and your deep gratitude for them. Write down the positive things. Surround the part of you from the past with love and tell them how much you love them. Repeat until this memory is no longer painful or lonely – because you now know You were there for yourself all along.
In every moment be brave. Keep choosing yourself and what is right for you. The best way to release your fears is to continuing to be brave. It’s not sword fights and burning buildings, it’s quiet moments every day when we make ourselves small. When we choose to go against our beliefs. For me right now, one of the ways I practice being brave is being able to act on my instincts to approach a stranger who I think may need help. My fear tells me ‘they’ll be fine’. My fear tells me ‘they’ll be offended and shout and everyone will stare’. My fear says ‘they cope with this every day – keep walking’. It’s crazy to me that I need to be brave to stop and be kind. But I do – so I am. Another way I’m practicing bravery is listening to my defensiveness. I felt myself getting stirred up recently when someone was telling me how to do something I already had a plan for. My defensiveness (aka fear) said ‘Who do they think they are? I’ve got this..’ – my bravery said ‘Ssssh. Listen. They might have some advice you could use.’ Think about ways you can be brave – then do it. All day every day. With love and gratitude. It’s a great way to move through fear and change old limiting beliefs.
Choose a different perspective
If these memories and feelings still hold hurt for you – choose to see them differently. Make peace with them and choose to let them go. Sometimes they will return out of habit. You’re starting new habits. Remind yourself that you don’t need to go back there anymore. Reset, and readjust.
There is light ahead – beckoning you forward with love.
Holding and sending You and your Self lots of light this week and every week…